• Before each gig, you find yourself warming up more parts of your body.
• It becomes more important to find a place onstage for your box fan than your amp.
• During the second set, you scream for the drummer to please stop hitting those damn annoying cymbals.
• Your gig clothes make you look like George Burns out for a round of golf.

• Your fans have all left by 10:30 pm.
• All you want from groupies is a foot massage.
• You hire band members for their values instead of their talent.
• You’ve lost the directions to the gig
• Prepping for the gig involves plucking hair from your chin or nose.
• Most of the hairs you’ve plucked from your chin or nose are gray.
• You need your glasses to see your amp settings.
• You’ve thrown out your back jumping off the stage.
• You’re thrilled to have New Year’s Eve off.
• The waitress is your daughter.
• You stop the set because your bottle of Ibuprofen fell behind the speakers.
• Most of your crowd just sways in their seats.
• You find your drink tokens from last year’s gig in your guitar case.
• You no longer use a tip jar.
• You refuse to play without earplugs.
• You ask the club owner if you can start at 8:30 pm instead of 9:30 pm.
• You check the TV schedule before booking a gig.
• High notes make you cough.
• Your gig stool has a back.
• You need a nap before the gig.
• After the third set, you bug the club owner to let you quit early.
• During the breaks, you now go to your van to lay down.
• You prefer a music stand with a light.
• You don’t recover until Tuesday afternoon.

- Author unknown

I’m not sure who wrote this, but if it’s funny to you, then you’re getting too old! If it’s NOT funny, come back and read it again in 10 years.